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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Stop That Fantasy


I went to get a haircut about a week ago and the saloonist (a girl) asked me this "Do you by any chance happen to have a girlfriend?" I said, no and I asked why she asked. She told me, "Cause your hair is so rough." And when I got back home I told my friend about it and was telling her how would it be if I had a girlfriend? And then she started this conversation below. Haha. Slam poetry! The purple is the alien friend.


Stop that fantasy
Make it a reality
End your days being lonely
And to find fingers touching you softly
To whom shall I show my insanity?
To the one who you love most tenderly
I know none who would want yours truly
Or should you stop being picky?
I'm not being picked, I'm not choosy
Well, love will find you don't worry
But don't just sit there, get out and be merry
Life is too short to only study
Pick me, pick me the one and only!
I will pick you but also leave you unfaithfully
So, no I won't take you simply
And I would stay forever lonely
You will never know how love can be so tenderly
I have felt it once, I do know really
Is that all you will ever need, seriously?
Come on don't live foolishly
Cherish the past passionately
But seek for a future open mindedly
I'm not saying no, I'm not silly
I would wait for the one dearly
But I do know it would take an eternity
For that one to come mysteriously
Even if for eternity, it will come hopefully
Well, I guess there is no hurry
But why not if it can make you happy
It's never too late nor early
I am in no hurry
Doesn't matter sad or happy
It is just something that will never be
Or is this a sign of gay maybe?

I simply love the ending. And no. I'm not gay. =P



Monday, January 25, 2010

A walk in the rain

Had a long bath again. A sign of a disturbed mind. It was raining and it was warmer than usual today. I decided to take a walk outside. Headed out to get some french vanilla coffee mix. Instead of cycling, I walked. Raindrops; remedy for tangled consciousness.

Somehow, the rain would be present during gloomy days as if to help me cleanse my thoughts. Nature is powerful. Feeling the touch of cold drops on my skin I walked and watched the liveliness along the streets. The place I was walking to had this indie sensation. I saw street performers. A man singing country songs, playing a guitar. It was good and filled the empty mind. Music is medicine. Songs answer a call for cure.

Then I saw a group of guys with that hardy appearance, addicts. I stared, my mind was just seeking for something and it just wandered. One of them saw me staring and called out, "Ganja?" My mind was simply empty at that time around. I smiled and walked along. Then I stopped and wondered, why did I smile? Was that the right expression? I don't know. It was all tangled. Confusion.

I got what I wanted to buy and I felt like eating something. Got myself an egg tart from a bakery along the way. Enjoyed eating it under the rain. I walked home.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Square Root of Three

This is a poem written by David Feinberg. Its in the movie Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay.
I can't stop listening to it. Its beautifully written. Love it!

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
As quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Lake view

That's my new header! Lake Garden in Taiping. One beautiful spot. Love it, missing it. It reminds me of hope.

Nice?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Homemade ice mango tea

Is it a good start? Cause today I am feeling positive all of a sudden. Now now, how long has it been since I last felt this way? Hmm.. I wonder if my homemade ice mango tea has anything to do with this. Aha, aha. Some funny potion in the drink

***
One hour a day. One hour a day. One hour a day. Got to do this. Pen it down my friend! Pen it down. No. Pencil it down. I prefer pencils. If I can make it happen, then I will be falling in love with myself again. Haha. Yes, I am not making any sense.

***
On a journey to a place where I will find peace again. Calmness comes from within and without.

***
Ice mango tea anyone? Will add a twist of lemon for ya!

Friday, January 1, 2010

A story of an elephant and its rider

It's the last few moments of the year 2009 and most people would be blogging about what had happened throughout the year. But I'm gonna tell you a story.

During my Christmas break, I spent my time reading this book "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt. Haidt made an analogy on how to relate our subconscious mind and our conscious mind which he said is the elephant and the rider respectively.The rein used by the rider to control the elephant is the only mean of communication between them. The rider is smart and he is able  to communicate with other riders and he gains knowledge. The elephant is helpless and moves based on mere instincts. Then again, the rider has a very limited role. He makes choices. He chooses which path the elephant should go to. Left, right, straight or back. The rest of the work is done by the elephant.

What if the rider loses his rein? Or if he is not able to control his own elephant? The elephant would not go on a rage. It would simply follow whatever it thinks is right, whatever that it used to do daily just like a computer program. As I was reading the book, I wondered how did my journey with my elephant was for the past few years. I believed that the conscious rider is our soul. Below is my story.

In my past, I was a very skilled rider. The choices that I made most of the time lead my elephant and I to victory. I knew I had tamed my elephant well enough that I threw the reins away. I understood my elephant and he me. I would talk to him and he would understand what I say. This harmonious relationship between both of us nurtured creativity and the ability to grasp knowledge around us with arms wide open.

I found that it was not only my elephant that I was able to tame. I somehow believed that I could understand other rider's elephants too. I was able to make friends with any rider that I met. And some very intimately. I was happy.


One day, there was a war. I tried to escape but to no avail and my elephant was afraid. From what I could remember, there was a huge explosion in front of me and the world went blank for a few days. When I finally opened my eyes. I could not feel my hands, I could not feel my legs and I could not feel that cool breeze that I once loved so much. The touch of raindrops on my skin was no longer there.


I was paralysed. I could only see and talk. I looked at my elephant. He is now blind. He is now mute. He could no longer hear my words. The harmonious bond between us was destroyed. He could not grow any wiser without my advice. There was no more knowledge that I could instill in him. He now makes his choices without a sense of direction and without my command. Alone and helpless. He thought that I left and abandoned him for good. 

I was not there when he needed me. And so, we moved on. We both exist side by side without a relation. How sad, I could not go to him and give him cookies for a festival or sweets when he had done a good work. I felt lost. We together are lost. Till now.


I hope one day, we would accidentally bump into a doctor. And hope that the doctor would cure my paralysis and my elephant's sight and hearing. Until then, my life and my journey would be on a defected autopilot. I could no longer steer.